i wanted to blog before hitting the shower just now, but i thought about it, and decided against it. if i did, this entry would have had no punctuations whatsoever, no proper sentences, and tons of grammatical errors. now now, you wouldn't want that right?
HAHA. cos a fren told me about getting a headache after reading one of my entries some time ago in which i didn't use any punctuation at all.

i.am.tired.

it's been quite a few packed days since i last sat down and blogged. ooh. yes. went out with xinghong zhenghui xuan and soon kueh that night. it was really really fun! there were so many hilarious moments that i can't possibly remember them all. we went clarke quay's Asylum to chill out, and i was a bad girl. i influenced them. =( HAHA. but they were really sporting in trying out the flaming lambourghini! -applaud- although the sudden profanity which sk blurted out was quite a stunner to all of us. bold ppl!
we took some photos, and we're damn BAD ACTORS. as in, we were supposed to "push" zh into the river, but apparently, we looked pretty damn sadistic. and our sushi consumption was quite atrocious....but nvm! it was all good! ate so much la really..bought soya bean and yoghurt drink too! ooh, and my favourite cheese sausage. and some prata wrapped sausage thingy with alot of mayonnaise! :) I LOVE MAYONNAISE!
they were really great company, seriously.

ohh, and yes, i slept damn late, and had to drag my ass out of bed early the next morning for the 40 Days programme. it made me reflect on alot of experiences, and what i want to accomplish in this life. no matter how long or how hard it would be for me.
there are goals which are hard to carry through, but not impossible. after it's done, you can look back and say, 'yes, it's done. it's over. even though i took a lifetime to do this, i accomplished it. i did it.' i want to be able to say that to myself over and over again. but with my level of self-descipline...well....


anyway, the next day i headed to jjc to meet up with my beloved dotters la. i was SO happy to see them! i've not been to jjc for a very long time, so when i got there and the bee hoon lady told me she ran out of bee hoon after serving 2 guys who actually cut my freaking queue, i felt really really jacked. =( but nvm YAY! saw shiyun lia cx and jessie la! as usual, a bit high in the canteen. but it's ALRIGHT RIGHT? HAHA! x)
headed to nyjc with anthony for a squash session with bing ren. he has been mugging seriously. woah. i was so tired and drained after that! i was so hungry and tired on the way home, and i craved for indian food because anthony was elaborating on how delicious the murtabak from the indian stall near his block was. URGH.
and yes, their courts are very very beautiful. very clean, and anthony and i agreed that we could play better in their right court. we managed to place our shots better. but the ventilation..is quite..a goner... but its alright! as bing ren said, it trains our stamina. HAHA.
the school is really nice on a whole, very modern-looking.
i was so tired i could barely walk home..
and yes, got whacked quite a few times within 3 days. lol. sad case la.

rested on tues, thank goodness man cos i felt so....lethargic throughout the whole day. slept, ate, tv-ed, and slept even more. at least the upside was i managed to catch the Ellen Degeneres and Oprah shows! hardly caught them last week, so yes. missed Ellen's snarky comments and quick wit. i was laughing til i cried when someone doubted she was Ellen on the phone.

"hello this is Ellen Degeneres."
"THE Ellen degeneres?!"
"yea, i'm THE Ellen Degeneres but usually when i talk about myself i don't put 'the' in front."
"oh you're really THE Ellen Degeneres!"
"yea i am -rolls eyes- and oh are you THE Judy?"

that conversation cracked me up! her deadpan tone, her facial expressions..oh so funny!
and yes, Oprah was heartwarming as usual. what do you expect? ITS OPRAH for goodness sake. she makes women all over the country cry at the same time! which by the way is during her show's timeslot. she empathises so much..and note that i don't use the word sympathise in this context, but empathise. because she's OPRAH. if it's anyone else, well...it's a whole different story then!

now, i'm waitin for my hair to dry after a nice long shower. had a squash session at signature park with stephen and onn shaun in the evening, and at the rate i'm playing, i honestly might go ballistic. some of my shots are really retarded and badly-placed, and coach wouldn't be very pleased to see the rate i'm playing at now. sigh. i need to brush up, and i need some secret training. haha. anyone?

i realised i've evolved into a cynical little bitch now. why do i say that?
because in some way or another, i find it hard to trust ppl now. i don't know why, but it's really really difficult. there are a handful of my closest frens who i trust entirely and that i could put my life in their hands. but many others? it just scares me whenever i doubt whatever they say or do..scares the shit outta me really.
my closest frens know who they are, so thank you. thank you all for the effort you all put in for me. words cannot portray my feelings. :)

sean,xuan,the jjcians(hongs,eunice,shiyun,lia,jessie,cx): thank you for being my angels :)

on a sidenote, it's very scary to see how ppl turn against their ex-es behind their back, and then act like an angel in front of them. like oh wow u've had a huge impact on my life blah blah blah. when actually all this while u've been saying that she was too demanding and too possessive. ppl say things to gain ppl's trust, but it's sad to see the level ppl stoop to, and that they try to cover it up with a bunch of crap. sometimes, trusting is the biggest mistake one can make.

no wonder i'm cynical. look at the harsh reality we live in. i am so judgemental, along with almost everyone else in the world.
but you know what?
i live my life the way i want to, don't let anyone tell you how to live yours.

urgh. i want to know you better, but yet i don't want to? it's unexplainable, and its crazy.
its driving me crazy.